How Beyoncé ruined my obsession with Beyoncé

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In case you haven’t heard the news yet, I broke up with Beyoncé shortly after the silent release of her latest video album. Why, you might ask? She’s changed. She’s not the Bee I once loved, and I don’t feel the same way about her anymore. She has become the one thing I hoped would never happen, and that one thing is superior.

When I first fell in love with Beyoncé she was a sweet but sassy lil’ Mamma who sang about love and dancing and had little sexual innuendos that were fun and flirtatious like calling her Hoo-Ha “Kitty Kat”. Laughable, quaint, but cute. She wore sexy outfits that showed off her naturally beautiful and curvaceous body all while keeping it moderately clean. I would dream about one day achieving a body like that, and I worked pretty hard (a couple times a month) to get there. And, although I could never have that booty, no matter how many squats I did, I could at least admire hers from afar.

Beyonce crazy in loveYes, to me, this was perfection. She had the body of a woman who worked hard, got her hair did and danced in heels. She had an attitude that would exude Girl Power, woman empowerment, irreplaceable mentality and I was head over heels in love.  Then, she was Foxy Cleopatra in an Austin Powers flick and I thought to myself “omg she’s actually perf”. She’s not a perfect actress, but she’s a perfect woman, and she’s a damn fine role model. I want to be just like Beyoncé. I want to be successful, have men drool over me even when I’m au naturel, I want to walk into a room and girls around will whisper “damn, she hot” among themselves, and workout just to keep exactly what I got, goin’.

Now, I don’t feel this. I don’t feel supported by Bee. She no longer encourages me to be myself, work hard and be nice to my haters. Now, I am just a pawn in her superiority, and I don’t matter to her anymore. Now, she is the queen, and I am the dirt she walks on. I can hardly look at Beyoncé without loosing all confidence in myself and thinking “I’ll never be anything like that”. People look at her and think “No one could ever be that great”. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, she knows it, and she shows it.

Beyoncé knows that she is Beyoncé. She knows that she is far more superior than anyone else. She knows that “God has blessed her with this gift” so she’s gonna flaunt it. If I may quote a song from Bow Down/ I Been On, “You could see me stunt when you turn and you scream, I’m bigger than life, my name in the lights, I’m the number one chick, ain’t need no hype, The capital b means, I’m ‘bout that life” – Beyoncé. No further explanation needed. Beyonce flawless

One further quote, “And every girl in here gotta look me up and down, All on Instagram, cake by the pound, Circulate the image every time I come around, G’s up, tell me how I’m lookin’ babe” – Beyoncé. We are not worthy of her presence, and dare we ask for a photo, we are deemed thirsty.

I’m not sure what happened to the old Bee, but I’m not giving up on her just yet. I’ll wait for you to return back to me.

 

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